Monday, December 22, 2008

Kinta 1881 - full of promise, but ultimately tanked.

Do not be deceived by the sheer coolness of this poster. You're better off spared your RM 10 and 90 minutes of your time.
What pulled me to watch this first ever local produced martial arts flick was a review in The Star written by if not mistaken, S.B Toh. It was one of the most well-written review I have ever read and the writer commented that it is essentially a Testosterone-charged movie just like 300 where as soon as you finish the movie you will rush to join a monastery and endure masochistic workout regime for hell of it. After watching it is safe to say I have NEVER been conned by a reviewer ever in my life. Heck in fact I won't be surprised if the writer is paid to seriously write a fucking damn good review like that to lure The Star readers watching that movie. Holy shite.

I do not want to diss a local effort like that even if it falls short of my expectations. The fight scenes are frankly lame, with terrible editing and moves that looked too scripted and unconvincing. That is okay. Screenplay is a total mess with some scenes that are 3-4 minutes long actually RECYCLED in flashbacks and the betrayal by one of the main lead characters still baffled me by the end of the movie and I do not understand why. I can endure that. What freaking pisses me off are the amateurish script writing and usage of terrible cliches that should've died in B-movie martial arts films made in 80s.

To start one, I suppose ALL the voices you hear are dubbed to the film that the actors acted out. That means they read the script and recorded in the studio so its obvious that whenever Patrick Teoh speaks he sounds like he's been dubbed by somebody else. The numerous groans during the fight scenes are reminiscent of Malay-dubbed Anime we're accustomed to. WTF.

The way the story unravels feels like you're watching a school play. No kidding Sherlock. We're told the main protagonists along with the mine workers are exploited and it just happens they realised it when one day eating dinner the dish ain't different from what they had for the past few weeks (supposedly) and one of those folks couldn't take it. (insert cliche) "We have to do something about it!" Then the main baddie in the movie Patrick Teoh after hearing their grouses decided to dispatch his henchmen and eliminate the miners.

So the entire dormitory the tin miners were staying burned to ground and the surviviors scampered away to the woods. They were found by Malay villagers and were nursed back to health by women clad only in sarong. Here, the protagonists endure several flashbacks which most of the time were tedious to sit through. Typically there are several love stories which was godawful including one which involves Patrick Teoh's daughter having a crush with Tiger, one of the protagonists. I felt like giving a bitchsmack to that actress and her gwaimui friend for their "partnership" atrocious enough to win a Razzie award. The way she introduced uncle Tin Sok (the uncle who takes care of the miners) was excruciating; "Meet my uncle Tin Sok, he's in charge of the miners" "Oh, Tin Sok? Tin Sok?" replies the gwaimui in awe. You might be forgiven that so-called British lady is actually some Belgian who doesn't speak any word of English >_> Another protagonist fell in love with a mute girl whom her dad was brutally murdered by the baddies. Here's a question. Before the old man was murdered, he left a letter asking anyone who read it to take care of his poor, defenceless mute daughter. One of the protagonists picked it up. Did the old man actually included a passport-size photograph? You tell me.

The only saving grace of the movie is the cinematography. Yes, considering the same guy made "Three Generations" featuring Amber Chia which I assume is a total dud not worth my time anyway. One of the fight scenes involves in a Ipoh limestone cave and the shots were gorgeous. Not to mention the murder of the mute girl's dad is actually the highlight of the film, from how the spear went through his neck which was graphic and how he was hanged. Too bad the fight scenes didn't look as cool as that.

Kinta 1881 had a climatic fight inside a cage which is an exhibitionist match arranged by Patrick Teoh to select new Head in charge of the tin mine. Now the fight scenes here are much more realistic compared to rest of the lot earlier on. Not surprisingly the movie ends abruptly in an anti-climatic manner. What does it leave us?
Judging from the hype and the way the film is promoted, I won't be surprised if the producers recouped the money from making this film. I am actually looking forward for another local martial arts movie as long as C.L Hor stays out of it, even if he's very capable of shooting beautiful scenary and gorgeous shots. Thailand, whom we Malaysians snobbed as a less developed country than us has more than just Ong Bak flick to boast to the world. We have long, long way to go.

Monday, October 13, 2008

The Hulk remake is just as shite as Ang Lee's original

With Edward Norton injecting lifeline into the Hulk "regeneration" movie, nothing can go wrong. Oooopppsss...another experimental failure.

The new Hulk movie by Marvel (yes Marvel has their own movie studio) promised to make viewers forget about the melodramatic tedium of Ang Lee's original. Even better they assigned Edward Norton to be the lead! Yes, the guy who acted in American History X and Fight Club. Finally this is the real deal, sonny - not.

The movie is much faster paced than the ponderous original, yes action scenes are relentless especially the factory showdown and the fight between Hulk and Abomination which was nail-biting I have to admit. However director Louis Leterrier's credits which includes Jet Li's Unleashed and Jason Statham's Transporter series looked capable of producing only MTV-catered B-movie action films only. Therefore that explains character and plot development which was fucking pitiful.

Apparently the director decided to shift all the backstory about how Dr. Bruce Banner was turned into Hulk into the freaking original opening credits! It looked like Marvel is taking exorcism of Ang Lee's tedium melodrama too seriously. So if the original was trying to have too much soul, this remake is void of it. When you're not empathizing with Edward Norton despite the ordeals and trouble he is undergoing as Dr Bruce Banner, something is terribly wrong. The army is chasing his ass all over Brazil at one scene yet I've never felt so indifferent over a lead character before.

The CGI is no different than Ang Lee's original Hulk. Yes the Hulk remake looked more chiselled and enormous strength in muscles but if there is a little compliment Ang Lee's Hulk looked like a freaking CGI cartoon while Leterrier's Hulk looked like its ripped from Warcraft III. The big fight between Hulk and Abomination is bloody intense but if this were shown amongst other videos in E3 or other gaming conventions, it looks like a PS3 demonstration. When Hulk and Abomination were crashing and flying through buildings the background textures lost its photorealism and the differences between two minutes previously was like night and day.

Hulk doesn't suck so bad like a typical (insert_______) Movie or a Uwe Boll trash you'll mourn for the loss of at least one and a half hours but what is pitiful is the terrible waste of acting talents such as Edward Norton and Liv Tyler. I thought both had great chemistry as a couple but the script had let them down. Now terrific action movies such as Bourne trilogy or Die Hard shows that a decent script with decent character and plot development makes a kickass popcorn flick, not this shallow comic-book CGI tedium.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Best football manager interview ever.

The edited transcript of Newcastle United's interim manager Joe Kinnear's first official press conference, taken from The Guardian:

Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?
Simon Bird: Me.
JK: You're a c**t.
SB: Thank you.
JK: Which one is Hickman [Niall, football writer for the Express]? You are out of order. Absolutely f**king out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can f**k off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that f**king crap. No f**king way, lies. F**k, you're saying I turned up and they [Newcastle's players] f**ked off.
SB: No Joe, have you read it, it doesn't actually say that. Have you read it?
JK: I've f**king read it, I've read it.
SB: It doesn't say that. Have you read it?
JK: You are trying to f**king undermine my position already.
SB: Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.
JK: F**k off. F**k off. It's your last f**king chance.
SB: You read the copy? It doesn't say that you didn't know.
JK: What about the headline, you think that's a good headline?
SB: I didn't write the headline, you read the copy.
JK: You are negative b**tards, the pair of you.
SB: So if I get a new job next week would I take the first day off? No I wouldn't. If I get a new job should I call my boss and tell him I am taking the first day off?
JK: It is none of your f**king business. What the f**k are you going to do? You ain't got the balls to be a f**king manager. F**king day off. Do I want your opinion. Do I have to listen to you?
SB: No, you can listen to who you want.
JK: I had a 24-hour meeting with the entire staff.
SB: Joe, you are only here six weeks, you could have done that on Sunday, or Saturday night.
JK: No, no, no. I didn't want to do it. I had some other things to do.
SB: What? More important things?
JK: What are you? My personal secretary? F**k off.
SB: You could have done the meeting Saturday night or Sunday. You could have had them watching videos, you could have organised them.
JK: I was meeting the f**king chairman the owner, everyone else. Talking about things.
SB: It is a valid point that was made in there. A valid point.
JK: I can't trust any of you.
Niall Hickman: Joe, no one could believe that on your first day at your new club, the first-team players were not in. No one could believe it in town. Your first day in the office.
JK: My first day was with the coaches. I made the decision that I wanted to get as much information out of them.
NH: But why Monday, no one could believe it?
JK: I'm not going to tell you anything. I don't understand where you are coming from. You are delighted that Newcastle are getting beat and are in the state they are? Delighted, are you?
NH: Certainly not. No one wants to see them get beaten, why would we?
JK: I have done it before. It is going to my f**king lawyers. So are about three others. If they can find something in it that is a court case it is going to court. I am not f**king about. I don't talk to f**king anybody. It is raking up stories. You are f**king so f**king slimy you are raking up players that I got rid of. Players that I had fallen out with. You are not asking Robbie Earle, because he is sensible. You are not asking Warren Barton? No. Because he is f**king sensible. Anyone who had played for me for 10 years at any level ... [but] you will find some c**t that ...
Other journalist: How long is your contract for Joe?
JK: None of your business.
SB: Well it is actually, because we cover the club. The club say you are here to the end of October, then you say six to eight games which would take it to the end of November. We are trying to clarify these issues. We are getting no straight answers from anyone. How long are you here for. It is a dead simple question. And you don't know ...
JK: I was told the length of contract. Then I was told that possibly the club could be sold in that time. That is as far as I know. That's it finished. I don't know anything else. But I have been ridiculed. He's trying to f**king hide, he's trying to do this or that.

There follows an exchange regarding the circumstances under which Kinnear had met the owner Mike Ashley and executive director (football) Dennis Wise.

Steve Brenner: (football writer for the Sun) We are all grown men and can come in here and sit around and talk about football, but coming in here and calling people c**ts?
JK: Why? Because I am annoyed. I am not accepting that. If it is libellous, it is going to where I want it to go.
Newcastle press officer: What has been said in here is off the record and doesn't go outside.
Journalist: Well, is that what Joe thinks?

JK :Write what you like. Makes no difference to me. Don't affect me I assure you. It'll be the last time I see you anyway. Won't affect me. See how we go at Everton and Chrissy [Chris Hughton, assistant manager] can do it, someone else can do it. Don't trust any of yous. I will pick two local papers and speak to them and the rest can f**k off. I ain't coming up here to have the piss taken out of me. I have a million pages of crap that has been written about me. I'm ridiculed for no reason. I'm defenceless. I can't get a point in, I can't say nothing, I can't do nothing, but I ain't going to be negative. Then, half of you, most of you are trying to get into the players. I'm not going to tell you what the players think of you, so then you try and get into them in some way or another, so I've got a split camp or something like that, something like that. It's ongoing. It just doesn't stop.

Journalist: It's only been a week.
JK: Exactly. It feels more like a year.
Journalist: It's early days for you to be like this.
JK: No, I'm clearing the air. And this is the last time I'm going to speak to you. You want to know why, I'm telling you. This is the last time. You can do what you like.
Journalist But this isn't going to do you or us any good.
JK: I'll speak to the supporters. I'm going to tell them what the story is. I'm going to tell them. I don't think they'll interpret it any different, I don't think they'll mix it up, I don't think they'll miss out things. I mean, one of them last week said to me ... I was talking about in that press conference where you were there, I said something like "Well, that's a load of bollocks ..."
Journalist: "Bollocks to that" is what you said.
JK: Bollocks to that. And what goes after that?
Journalist: That was it.
JK: No it wasn't, no it wasn't. What was after it? I don't know if it was your paper, but what went after it?
Journalist: I don't know.
JK: It even had the cheek to say "bollocks to Newcastle".
Journalist: I didn't write that.
JK: That was my first f**king day. What does that tell you? What does that tell you?
Journalist: Where was that? Which paper said that?
JK: I've got it. I can't remember. It was one of the Sundays, not a Saturday. It was a Sunday.
Journalist: But you didn't say that to the Sundays, you said that to us. That was during the Monday press conference.
JK: I'll bring it in and show it to you. Why would I want to say that?
Journalist: Are you saying that someone has reported you saying "bollocks to Newcastle?"
JK: Yes. Lovely.
Journalist: I don't know who's reported that.
JK: I'll tell you what, I'll bring it in.
Journalist: That's obviously going to damage you. That's not a good thing. But I don't think someone's done that. We have to have some sort of relationship with you.
JK: So have I. But I haven't come in here for you lot to take the piss out of me. And if I'm not flavour of the month for you, it don't f**king bother me. I've got a job to do. And I'm going to do it to the best of my ability. I'm not going to spend any more time listening to any crap or reading any crap. Stick to the truth and the facts. And don't twist anything.
Journalist: You know, you know the game ...
JK: Of course I know, but I don't have to like it.
Journalist: Today we'll print the absolute truth, that you think we're c**ts, we can all f**k off and we're slimy. Is that fair enough?
JK :Do it. Fine. F**king print it. Am I going to worry about it? Put in also that it'll be the last time I see you. Put that in as well. Good. Do it.Much, much later after long discussions over whether Kinnear had promised Alan Shearer and Kevin Keegan would be returning to the club
Press officer: Let's get on to football. Let's have an agreement that everything said so far, if anyone has got their tapes on, it's wiped off and we're not discussing it.
Journalist: But that's what Joe has said he thinks of us.
Press officer: I'm saying don't push it. Let's accept what's been said and try and move on.
Journalist: Move on to not doing any more press conferences?
PO: No, to doing something now.
Journalist: What, one press conference only?
Journalist: Any knocks?
PO: Come on, let's go football.
Journalist: What are your plans for training in the next three days? How's the training going?
JK: It's going very well. No problems at all.
Journalist: Enjoyed getting back in the swing of things?
JK: Absolutely. I've loved every moment of it.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Jesus am so fucking bored.

So Anwar yapped at Sept 16 that the govt will fall in few days bla bla bla.

Ok then he said he wants PM to arrange for emergency parliamentary session at Sept 23 to file No Confidence against Pak Lah.

Of course wat u expect Pak Lah to say? He's gone cuckoo if he says yes.

Ask the typical people on the streets about Anwar's crossover and most likely Anwar they will tell you to dream on. Of course instead of ignoring Anwar or better, just bust him under ISA the whole BN cahoots cannot resist joining his charade. Switching portfolios with Najib (Take over Defence Ministry wor), more UMNO members calling him to resign before the party's assembly in December and Muhiyiddin making more blardy noise. So much for mirage.

But then on the other side, it looks like Anwar is fucking clueless on the way this shit is going or he's still desperately trying to buy more MPs into his coalition. Fucking clueless as he still doesn't know how to do this crossover thing properly even if he already has enough fucking MPs in his hands. Does he know beforehand the parliament can only be called after Ramadan thats where he can ask his MPs to file no confidence against Badawi? The whole Agong thing, what if His Majesty rejects his request?

But then again this is Datuk Seri Anwar and he knows more shit than I do.

His mistake was imposing the sept 16 deadline and as result a lot of people are already let down. But then his "lie" may be part of the plan. All the mind games will drag on till even end of the year.

For most people, this soap opera of politics is starting to feel like the plot has dragged too much over the welcome it deserves. Do whatever you have to do Anwar but this takeover thing doesn't materialize and Pakatan's reign will be in deep shit because probably by next general election, people would not bother to vote for either Pakatan or Barisan. Who do you choose? Racist, cronyistic, corrupt BN or power-hungry, lying Pakatan?

Monday, September 15, 2008

This country cannot wait three more years to be saved.

It is already past 12 midnight.

Malaysiakini reports that from the Pakatan Rakyat speech in Kelana Jaya, Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim will be ready to form the government TODAY.

This is despite contradictory reports earlier that the plan may be deferred due to "distruption" to his plans.

Now there has been opinions that such "back alley" move is bad for democracy and is despicable.

But looking from events past few weeks it is obvious if Malaysia waits until the next general elections by 2012, motherland may be crippled by UMNO's undoing.

Devastated by March 8 tsunami, UMNO has not learnt its lessons and still continued its despicable divide-and-rule tactics, sweet-talking to rakyat about importance of racial unity, perpaduan and religious tolerence while preaching racial hatred messages to Malay grassroots telling them especially that the non-Bumis are going to take over this country.

The Ahmad Ismail furore has grown much more uglier with the arrests of Raja Petra, Teresa Kok and the Sin Chew reporter who covered Ahmad's speech in Bukit Bendera. Already Zaid Ibrahim the Law Minister had quit in protest.

Good news for Malaysia are the likes of Zaid Ibrahim. And better hope that Permatang Pauh showed that racial politicking has not worked with majority of Bumis who cast vote in the elections.

But like a wounded beast scorned, UMNO will throw all out to save itself from oblivion. They will instigate its ultra-fanatical members to go out on riot and cause another May 13. The mat rempits and samsengs led by Ahmad Ismail and don't be surprised if Khairy Jamaluddin follows, they will arm themselves with parangs, molotov cocktails and cause chaos everywhere. It may even be uglier than May 13th, with the mob going all out to "cleanse" this land from the clutches of non-Bumis and uphold their Ketuanan Melayu supremacy.

Should Najib take over the PM post even sooner, it will be even nastier. The former UMNO Youth leader who threatened to bathe Chinese blood in keris, this guy is much more no-nonsense than the gutless Badawi and will rule this country with an iron-fist that may make Mahafiraun-era seem like Paradise. He will use the ISA as his ultimate weapon and make arrests that will inflate Operasi Lalang figures by ten-fold. The UMNOputera will run fucking riot and it may be even too late for non-Bumis to think of migration.

For this, screw whether what DSAI does is ethical, non-democratic or betrays people's trust. Hell I do not even trust the man himself, but ask any decent-thinking Malaysian if they would pass up a chance for CHANGE.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Badawi, DPM Najib in deep shit over Ahmad revolt.

Datuk Ahmad Ismail surely has one big balls, defiantly refusing to apologize over racist statement he issued (according to a Chinese daily) despite even the DPM big man Najib issuing apology on UMNO's behalf and you gotta give him credit notwithstanding a piece of shit that bugger is. Ahmad turned the tables, demanding Gerakan and Koh Tsu Koon apologize to him instead for playing up the issue.

Sacking that dipshit would've lay the matter to rest. Instead they're not going to and UMNO big guy Badawi's best efforts is just making sure "he doesn't do it again". Heh, wanna know why? By sacking Ahmad, Badawi risks incurring wrath of ultra-fascist UMNO supporters who will take kowtowing to non-Malays a big shit smack right in the face. Badawi doesn't want that since his own support in party is already fragile as a paperthin waffle, and police report filed over his alleged money politics doesn't help either.

Gerakan and MCA doesn't want to risk losing non-Malay votes and will keep making noises but it is too late as the whole UMNO is viewed as scum by non-Malays and only terribly naive or mental people will view them otherwise. As demonstrated by Permatang Pauh elections, racial politics don't work no more.

Monday, August 4, 2008

51st Independence Day approaching for Malaysia. Are we going anywhere?

A lot has been said about the state of politics these days. The drama currently is "Anwar vs Saiful" soap which unfortunately has turned kind of stale, how Hollywood announced there would be sequel to Meet the Spartans. I wouldn't want to touch how Saiful has blown his credibility out of the water with his new blog. I mean, do you get sodomised by force 7-8 times and suddenly pop up a blog capitalizing on your current "trauma" (other than photogenic potraits of him in media which doesn't look like some dick getting assfucked 8 times). I'm no fan of Anwar, I think he's too populist and the way he's desperate to force himself into power by Sept 16 is despicable but still the most neutral observer would tell you who had screwed up. Anyway I digress.

We cannot be expected to live in a fucking utopian world. But the real world we live in sucks balls. They are right. Truth fucking hurts. The fact is when you'd expect March 8th tsunami to bring in change, the dirty linen seems to be dirtier than ever. I don't give a damn about rising cost of living, corruption and typical dilemma than the common Malaysian face this day but what hurts most is this; racial polarisation seems to be wider than ever.

True that; last March 8th Malaysians did the unthinkable. Malays voted for DAP. Non-Malays voted for PAS. Whatever the unfathomable, five years ago deemed unthinkable we did it. And thanks to that, we've seen one fucking hell of a tsunami. Dawn has arrived. So we think.

Now is noon, skies all murky and dark. Is that the picture? Those cibai fucking Nazi politicians are playing the racecard more than ever. Few months ago. Umno Penang division went street demo over Lim Guan Eng's alleged anti-NEP statement. It's blardy irony if those buggers weren't Muslims majority of those demonstrators would've been asked to pack up and go back India. Lets not get to the point the fucking demo backlashed where suddenly people boycotted Penang's mamak and nasi kandar stalls. Who's your daddy now?

In parliament, debate was set up regarding allocation of local universities to non-Bumis. Newspapers reported of Indian students scored 10A1s screaming injustice at being denied entry to local universities. Suddenly Hairy Monkey Jamaluddin after being quiet like a baby since the elections questioned the need for that. Fucking racist always a racist, ain't it?

Then not long few days ago, there were talks of PAS and UMNO having some blardy dialogue or some shit regarding Malay unity or shit and even talks of merging. Of course the chances are as good as Hull City winning English Premier League this season. Still the controversial lebai or whaever Hadi Awang is called suddenly questions why more non-Malays are gaining seats in parliament. Or something liddat. Now this is classic case of kacang lupakan kulit, no prize guessing which one is kulit.

Non-Malays like me cannot forget about how some time ago forum on Article 11 was cancelled because the Nazi Malays were making big noise. Do your Inter-Faith dialogue thing but don't bring Islam in because Islam doesn't believe in pluralism. Not to mention numerous body-snatching cases and forced conversions on children.

The fucking bigots are having the bigger say, that's my point. The liberal Malay voices like Malik Imtiaz Sarwar, Amir Muhammad, etc seems to be intimidated by these Nazi conservatives. More is needed to be done. For 50 years, Malaysia had been given the chance while countries like South Korea, Taiwan and Singapore were in wilderness. Malaysia had been given an oasis as a headstart; natural resources like rubber, tin, oil, timber etc. And as mother Malaya approaches her 51st birthday, her progress is declining as steadily as the National Football Team in FIFA rankings. Her children are still stuck in tempurung, arguing who should get the biggest piece of pie.

Migration is no way out even for battered, sidelined Malaysians. Other than the usual saying than its better hujan batu di negeri sendiri, hujan emas di negeri lain, migrating is for quitters. The real men will have to stay and continue slugging out for their rights.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Heath Ledger owns The Dark Knight and goes out with a bang.

Let's put a smile on that face! And here we...go!

Pretty much the whole 2008 awaits this masterpiece, despite a load of superhero movies that came out including Ironman, Hulk and such. The year is also a mediocre one for movies to be honest, with sudden lack of quality "indie" titles and instead steady glut of popcorn blockbusters. However TDK is a must watch for even serious fans of celluloid. The late Heath Ledger's performance of the Joker has even been compared to Marlon Brando and it wasn't just his demise that deliberately hyped the movie, the hype is light years beyond what you will see on the screen the minute Ledger's Joker appears. Ever since I've watched it, his performance continues to haunt, intrigued and glued in my mind. Only Al Pacino's Micheal Corleone, Tony Montana or De Niro's Travis Bickle has given similar treatment to me. Ledger doesn't even need to stretch his character to a role of caricature or over-the-top exaggeration, all he need to do was to simply have fun.

Joker isn't simply amoral. To even call him an epitome of evil is an understatement. Even Mephistopheles looked like Christ next to him. Money as motivation? He torches half a billion dollars of banknotes without battling an eyelid, and does not have a tormented history to justify his actions (Joker has two extremely contradicted stories of how he got his scar on the face). Joker is simply chaos. Carving a smile (literally) on someone's face is his bread and butter, complete mayhem, anarchy and destruction is his Nirvana. The only way to take him down is to play his game, what irony. And in the beginning when Christopher Nolan casted a guy famous for being a gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain for Joker, nobody has a clue how he alone will ultimately be the one-man magnet for the sequel to Batman Begins.

It is not to say the rest is insignificant. Without Ledger, TDK could still stand on its own and become one of summer's great blockbusters. Christopher and his brother Jonathan took a comic book material and turned it into a complex study of morality equal inspired by likes of Macbeth, exploring arguments about vigilantism, revenge, Kantian morality and free will. But they need a force so sinister that it ultimately affects all the characters involved in it and force them to play out all their cards. And Heath Ledger became a miracle that Christopher Nolan needs in this movie.

Even though this is a one-man show like Brian De Palma's Scarface, the rest of the casting is virtually perfect and played their roles well. Aaron Eckhart's Harvey Dent character is stunning with his cocksure arrogance and his later Two Face role seething with unsatiable lust for vengence. Maggie Gyllenhaal was a wise choice to replace Katie Holmes playing Rachel Dawes, displaying more depth as a woman torn between her new boyfriend Harvey Dent and her old feelings for Bruce Wayne and not being mere typical damsel-in-distress character. Gary Oldman's role of Liutenent Gordon is remarkably restraint but with integrity and grit. Micheal Caine's role as Alfred is irreplacably charming, having great chemistry with Bale's Bruce Wayne and even Morgan Freeman made full use of his Lucius Fox character, who could only be given a few chances for moments of brilliance (the scene where a staff of Wayne Industries tried to blackmail him is brilliant). Christian Bale is the perfect Bruce Wayne but his Batman is the only flaw which his exaggerated gruff attempt gets annoying after a while.

Some will not agree by my choice of words about Heath Ledger being the one-man centerpiece of TDK, "tonight's entertainment" but undoubtedly his performance flashes out all vital ingredients that makes TDK be called "greatest superhero movie ever" or even "the movie of 21st century - period". This epic of the masterpiece is so, I doubt Nolan or even Scorsese himself could top this one. I would not be surprised if Nolan quits his Batman franchise for good, it is that damned good.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Lame piece o crap

The 1st one with The Rock was a thoroughly enjoyable shit. Especially with Christopher Walken as the baddie. Well, not "Walkenesque" enough but still awesome. And why someone bother re-casting Kevin Sorbo (of Hercules TV series wor) in a direct-to-DVD sequel? I don't understand why people make these lame-o dump-straight-to-video/DVD shit, maybe there's not enough movies to rent at video stores I suppose.
People only will watch this shit if they have NOTHING to do getting stuck in middle of night can't sleep. Looks like this was the only thing to watch when I got struck by flu and can't sleep. Or if they're Kevin Sorbo fans. WTF, I don't get how Kevin Sorbo can have "fans". Yeah he's buff and decent looking but has personality of *gasp* toilet paper. By comparison Keanu Reeves looked like fucking Marlon Brando. Thats how lame Kevin Sorbo is.
His acting in this film is so nonchalant its unbelievable. The emotion of angst compared with Charles Bronson's Death Wish character is like distance from the Sun to Pluto. With Sorbo it's just "Hey, look at me I'm an angry man wanna kick ass". Even when he visited a girl who got raped by the main villain's gang, all he could do was "It's ok" with a deadpan look. Jesus, no surprise if the girl slits her throat when he leaves the room.
It doesn't helped by a script written by someone who probably just started his class in script-writing college. The guy who played Harvey looks quite fucking mean and you would want to punch him in the face (which is a GOOD compliment for a villian) but imagine the script so stilted the best he can do is scream "SHUT UP" when provoked. And the action sucked too. The director must've thought, hey tons of explosions and everybody would go a-ga-ga. Gimme a break. The main climax is such a non-climax. So Sorbo and Harvey settles for a cowboy-style shootout which is so freakin lame since we know who's gonna die.
This movie isn't as huge abomination as Ecks vs Sever (big fucking eewwwww at that name) or any Uwe Boll movies, but after watching it you thought watching a dart olympics on a sport's channel is a time better spent.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Yay I bought a book.

I have to make a confession. I seldom, really seldom buy books. Mostly because everytime I have spare cash I divert them on CDs, whether by Karajan, Bernstein, Furtwangler, Mahler, etc. You can count the number of book in my "library" with fingers on your two lil' hands. That includes complete Harry Potter collections, Lord of the Rings paperback (way before the overrated movie trilogy came out) and some bargain non-fiction biographies. However on trip to yesterday's bookfare, I plunked out RM 30 for this:

After discount la, duh.

I have to admit, those blardy gibberish from critics who praised this book suckered me into buying this; "It reads like a part from War and Peace". I've reached Part III and it's pretty good so far. This is NON-FICTION so everything that occured is real.

Hitler broke off a truce he brokered with Stalin about staying away from Russia and launched the Operation Barbossa which backfired and became turning point which leads to Axis downfall in Europe. The vastness of Russian terrain, unpredictable and terrifying weather conditions plus serious tactical mismanagement due to huge part played by Hitler's greed in trying to conquer Caucasian oilfields lead to the German's collapse in Stalingrad. While great credit must be given to Russians for their unflinching spirit in defeating the enemy, the Red Curtain side aren't perfect with Stalin being no different than Hitler due to his paranoia and indecisiveness. A blueprint recovered from a German commander whose plane was shot down and contained vital plans was dismissed as forgery by the Great Commander himself, thinking it is a plan to confuse his troops. Countless Russian lives were lost under Stalin's directory to punish "deserters, cowards and traitors" by his own secret police NKVD regime and even worst, all Soviet prisoners of war captured by Germans when recovered were sent straight to Gulag because to Stalin they were traitors to the Motherland.

The battle of Stalingrad became the bloodiest battle in history with estimate loss of 1.5 million lives due to callous disregard of military and civilian lives. A massive german bombardment virtually flattened the city in a most horrible carnage since bombing of Guernica during Spanish Civil War. The Red Army were so reckless in their pursuit of vengence that an unarmed battalion were forced straight into German slaughter despite lack of ammunitions.

Grim and terror in war did produce some humourous moments recounted in the book. In early stages of Operation Barbossa, the Germans were ambushed by kamikaze dogs carrying bombs and anti-tank mines trained by Russians to fetch food underneath advancing tanks. In midst of brutal winter during the advance, a disillusioned German wrote a spoof "There will be no Christmas this year because Joseph has been called up to join the Army, Mary had joined the Red Cross, Baby Jesus and other children had been sent to countryside (to avoid bombing); the Three Wise Men could not get visas because they lacked proof of Aryan origin; there will be no star because of blackout; the shephards has been made into sentries and angels has become Blitzmaden (telephone operators). Only a donkey is left and one cannot celebrate Christmas with just a donkey".

The author also provided maps for referencing and illustrated photographs taken during that period. So far this have proven to be a fascinating read.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Sudden Impact always Made My Day

I fucking love Hollywood. Back in the 80s when its cool shit to say Hollywood rocks (unlike today with overdosage of Adam Sandler movies and other garbage). This movie has typical Hollywood-ish elements; two-dimensional characters, kick-ass one liners, and realism you can dump off at your closet. This is the fourth Dirty Harry outing by Clint Eastwood but as a renowned critic put it, Harry Callahan would've been sacked or even prosecuted for being a "walking combat zone" throughout the first three movies. You see for the police force, Harry is a walking migraine for his superiors, constantly killing somebody at least once a few days, a popular fodder for the press and dish loads of damage to San Francisco Police Dept's PR image. Harry busts criminals by his way, what means necessary and costing the police force tons of cash in damages of public property and in every film his partner either gets injured and pulls out or gets killed in action. If your bank or liqour store gets robbed, expect Harry to bust an automobile crashing through your premises to cite an example.

Of all five Dirty Harry movies, this is probably most entertaining and most violent of all that Eastwood starred in. It has the most brilliant and wittiest dialogue and one-liners that borders on ownage. Ironically I failed to neglect saying this is THE only Dirty Harry movie with a bulldog as his sidekick (and thankfully never got killed) instead of an accompanying detective. Need I also mention that part of fun of watching Dirty Harry series is watching baddies attempting to kill Harry himself only to get themselves pWNed? (not to mention being part of casualty statistic as usual).

The premise of this movie is simple. Jennifer Spencer is a murderer-vigilante (played by Eastwood's then-girlfriend Sondra Locke) who kills participants in an incident 10 years earlier where she and her sister were gang-raped. Her poor sister is currently vegitative and Spencer is making a living as an artist. And its business for usual for Harry Callahan as a suspect he busted goes away scot free after a judge decided the evidence that Harry obtained against him was illegal. Afterwards, Harry attends a mobster's granddaughter's wedding party and pissed him off so much he suffered heart attack. Then as usual, Harry's superiors went ballistics ordering him off to few days leave then subsequently sent him on an assignment outside SF for being "walking combat zone" while the mobsters' goons started to hunt for his ass. Oh boy, the fun.

Dispatched on an assigment in San Paolo to investigate the ongoing murder case, Harry received a bulldog named Meathead who becomes his sidekick throughout the movie. Thanks to Meathead he bumped into Ms Spencer herself, unbeknown to Harry himself a murderer and of course they got into some lil' romance and stuff. Meanwhile Chief of San Paolo police finds Harry the same pain in the ass and duh, vice-versa.

I'll get those scumbags to suck some fishheads, then blow their balls off I promise.

The first hour of the film is riotious fun while the next hour turned into nail-biting suspense. Again the fun involves Harry's notorious one-liners. When his suspect made fun of Harry inside an elevator after being acquitted, he retailiated with the "dog-shit" quote. A famous eatery robbery-turns hostage scene has the "Make my day" quotes. And while interrogating a woman in a fish market, he nonchantly told her brothers who wanted to bust him "suck some fishheads". Watch out also for one of the most despicable female villains ever in cinematic history, being responsible for luring Ms Spencer into the gang-rape, has this evil cacophonic laugh and disgustingly bisexual. She even tries to seduce Harry which resulted her getting pWNed by Harry's usual sarcastic lips.

The film reaches a suspenseful climax and a satisfying showdown(which doesn't occur without an unfortunate BIG plot hole. Does Harry Callahan possess ESP skills?!). Thankfully it wasn't as freaking tame as Magnum Force and The Enforcer which these showdowns were pretty much anti-climatic. It's my favorite Dirty Harry film which I would happily watch dozens of times to come.

Monday, April 7, 2008

So Sufiah is whorin' and she's enjoying it. Good for her.

I could not figure out how from being aghast and shocked few days ago until I just accepted the "fate" that befell child prodigy Sufiah Shilpa Lee.

So the cat's out of the bag that she's been whorin' for at least 130 pounds a frickin night and she's enjoying it.

"My clients love the fact that I can stimulate their minds AND their bodies," she boasts in a shockingly frank interview with the News of the World.

Her mom who is a devout Muslim woman must've gone apeshit to know her lil' girl been sleeping around with men not only for money, but for fun.
If you think she's still doing it out of desperation and lashing at her tortorous past, well you're dead wrong.
"People think escorting is sleazy and terrible but I don't see it like that," she says. "I've always had a high sex drive—and now I'm getting all the sex I want—and guys are much better in bed with an escort than a girlfriend.
"I have men who are thrilled about my passion for mathematics. In fact one made me recite equations while he pleasured me, then I gave him oral sex while he chatted about algebra. It drove him wild."

Sufiah isn't abducted and forced to whore out of her free will. In fact she'd rather continuing bonking random strangers than doing typical white-collar work which probably bores the bejesus out of her. "I don't want to take anything away from people who do jobs like that but it's not for me. I have a nice life. I don't want for anything."

Over here in Bolehland, "Selamatkan Sufiah" campaign has been latched out in order to save a supposedly fucked up child prodigy driven to desperation by her control-freak dad. Funny thing is she's a Brit, not even holding dual-citizenship for Malaysian PR. They want to save her coz; a) she's a former child prodigy and b)she's born Muslim.

Good news for um...Shilpa Lee is that those pious, holier-than-thou busybodies can't do jack shit since she is bound by British laws and therefore she is untouchable. I'm neutral regarding the oldest profession in this planet but it's damn obvious there are folks who wants to "save" her because a Muslim-born and an Oxford educated former child prodigy being a hooker is just plain "wrong".
Worse comes to worse Shilpa Lee will contract some deadly STD or even AIDS and die a lonely death. But the choice is entirely hers. Meanwhile we have better things in Bolehland to do such as "SELAMATKAN SHARLINIE" which is 1000x more important than trying to persuade a British Muslim to ditch a lucrative "dream" job.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

No more politics for now.

So I have yet to post feedback regarding the great "tsunami" that happened on March 8. Pretty much everybody's sentiments:

- UMNO can stop shoving keris around since Malays have started to grow up. Don't call those who vote for DAP traitors! It's pot calling kettle black shit especially for mamaks and wannabe immigrants like Khir Toyol (who's a Javanese) and Zainuddin Maidin (they call him mamak so definitely he's from india)

- The Barisan Rakyat has TONS of work to do. We all know how easily the pendulum swings after such massive victory (eg from "Reformasi" 1999 to 2004) Stop the infighting and power bickering shit (esp the Perak MP fiasco)

- It's funny how MCA accuses DAP of being power hungry when few days later I think MCA has to eat it's own words. Pot calling kettle black too har har. Shahidan Kassim disrespected the Perlis Sultan by saying that the person who replaces him as Perlis MP is the "Opposition". Also after Cabinet line-up announced two ministers refused their posts because they think they deserve better! And worse; Mahathir's son Muhriz' letter asking Pak Lah to resign. Who's gloating now?

- The mainstream media are getting "neutral" but still MSMs like NST and The Star are licking BN's arse while Utusan is guilty of spreading UMNO fascism and discord amongst Malaysians. The Sun still rules. It's funny how some journalists are clever in their "chamaleon"-like attitude like The Star's Wong Chun Wai >_>

For days after days I've kept reading analysis after analysis about the elections in newspapers till today. Enuff is enuff la, move on to other crap ok. Liek if Obama can be Democratic nominee for President this coming September =P

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Election times are here

Malas updating blog, since wasted so much time at Facebook group; "Deny Barisan National 2/3rds majority" and, which is now free for viewing for a week.

So have I registered as a voter? Yes sirreee. So which constituency am I and who are the candidates? I'm based in Selayang constituency and the candidates are; Lee Li Yew (BN-MCA), William Leong (PKR) and Koh Swe Yong (PRM).

There is no question who am I voting. Even if I have no clue of the candidate of my choice. Except he was a lawyer (quote from NST) helping residents in the area opposing the high-tension national grid line running from Bukit Tarek in Rawang to Chubadak in Kuala Lumpur.

Will post updates in future. Keep this page bookmarked.

Sunday, February 24, 2008


Freaking FA should've looked at these photos and tell the whole world that bloody tackle on Arsenal's Eduardo wasn't malicious:

Notice where the position of the ball is



Saturday, February 23, 2008

Update! List to do before I die

1. Visit Emirates Stadium (note, name will change in 11 years time, or so I heard)

2. Watch Vienna Philharmonic concert

3. Watch the God Pierre Boulez conduct

4. Speak German

5. Have sex with a Japanese chick

6. Visit the graves of Mahler, Beethoven, Bruckner

7. SEE and TOUCH a Bugatti Veyron *droooooooooool*

8. Have sex with a Japanese schoolgirl

wait, ain't 5 & 8 the same thing? =P

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

MCA proves they have sold out the Chinese and became pawn for UMNO

So the election fever is heating up and so are the propaganda by the great big masquerade called Barisan National.

A few key incidents have made the leading party desperate to fish votes for the coming election. Even key columnists for govt-controlled machinery concurred it is unlikely BN can repeat the 2004 landslide victory.

Rising crime, Lingam controversy, Keris-wielding Nazi speeches in UMNO assemblies, two major demonstrations and economic uncertainty are some of the issues Malaysians have to grapple with. It is no surprising BN's propaganda machine has formed a new election theme; "VOTE FOR US OR ELSE..."

Starting is a statement by Selangor minister Datuk Khir Toyo reminding Indians and Chinese not to "main wayang" referring to the Ijok election where despite "promises" by Chinese voters, most voted for Opposition. Hey, what comes around goes around right?

But wait, more despicably for a Chinese like me, the MCA who whored themselves shamelessly to UMNO played along with Khir Toyo. This is militant campaigning, Kerismuddin style. It's Hitler demanding the jews to vote for him to power or else they will face the gas chambers.

I read a mainstream paper today citing a MCA leader defending Kerismuddin's Nazi oratory speeches, telling the Chinese that Kerismuddin has been responsible for building more Chinese schools than any other education ministers.

But wait if you're more disgusted, one of the most honorable BN mps I've known Datuk Paduka Chew Mei Fun has just blown off all my respect for her telling the Chinese they cannot afford another May 13 incident if there is not enough Chinese representatives in Barisan National.

Here is translation from China Press:

China Press, January 21, 2008 (Monday) Page A11.

Petaling Jaya, Jan 20 - MP for Petaling Jaya Utara Datin Paduka Chew Mei Fun said that although the voters in Petaling Jaya Utara are very supportive of Barisan Nasional, she is worried that voters may be misled by the Opposition’s “checking Chinese with Chinese” statement.

She refuted Opposition claims that voters can vote for the Opposition to teach UMNO a lesson, as well as to check UMNO’s power within the BN, but in actual fact, the move will result in “checking Chinese with Chinese”.

She stressed, “If there is insufficient Chinese representation in the Barisan Nasional, it is not a good thing, the Chinese community cannot afford another May 13 incident.”

She said that MCA under the leadership of Ong Ka Ting is keen to establish a healthy political culture, in order to give voters better service.

Chew Mei Fun is also the Parliamentary Secretary to the Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development and the Deputy Chairman of Wanita MCA. As the head of the MAC Crisis Relief Squad, she launched the Squad’s first mobile clinic today. Her comments were made when she was asked about MCA President Dato’ Seri Ong Ka Ting’s endorsement of her to defend her parliamentary seat of Petaling Jaya Utara.

She said she was grateful for the president’s trust in her and will strive to work even harder.

When asked about her preparations for the election, she said she has been working since the day she was elected.

Would Chinese voters back a party that has shameless align themselves to a Malay Nazi party which relentlessly spits them in their back? Would they want to vote a party that treated a disgraced Health Minister as a hero? No need to call Captain Obvious for now.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Movies of 2007 recap

As usual there was TONs of 2007 movies I wish I could watch but can't. Amongst them; Hot Fuzz, Walk Hard, Bourne Ultimatum, Zodiac, 28 weeks later, Ratatouille etc. Factors;

- can't find movie date/partner
- too busy with college
- Pirate DVDs are getting glitchy

Here are some movies which I enjoyed the most for 2007


Comic book adaptations and comic book movies are entirely different sort of beasts. 300 is like Roy Lichtenstein's pop art canvases being alive on big screen sort. In another meaning this is probably the best comic movie ever. It's not merely adapting a comic and interpret it on the celluloid, but this is one of the very, very few that sort of transfers every single miniscule motion, strokes, colour and even texture from a comic book to screen - other being Sin City.

With one-liners that that became tiresome fads during its screening (THIS IS SPAAAAARRTAAAA!) and after, plus drop-dead gorgeous cinematography (including naked women and six packs that women will drool and men envy), this movie also uses the tiresome and over-used slow-mo effect and rejuvenate the fight scenes and becoming as cool as when The Matrix first appears. Not surprisingly nominated this as it's Movie of the Year.

The Simpsons Movie

Critics' consensus may be true; the movie pales with greatest Simpsons episodes of all time, but this title will still give you a riot of a time. From the lengthiest Itchy-and-Scratchy feature ever created to usual puns and sataricals on religion, politics, environmentalists etc one reviewer noted that this movie is a series of jokes rolled out "It's a little like Airplane in a sense - if something flops, the wait for the next gag isn't long." James Berardinelli. Probably funniest movie of 2007.

Live Free or Die Hard (Die Hard 4)

It's a pleasant surprise the fourth installment of Die Hard rocked ass. I still think the first Die Hard is the best (not to mention greatest action film of all time) but Lens Wisemen did a terrific job of confounding my expectations. John McClane is the person who has to save the day when he least expects and this reluctant hero is not one you'd like to fuck around with. As demonstrated even a Harrier fighter who thinks John is just one itsy lil' fly to twat ends up being a casualty. Over the top? Here's one that's even more ridiculously ins
ane, it's bloody enjoyable;

Shoot em' Up

I'd pity Quentin Tarantino if he hadn't watch this flick. The anti-hero, played bad-ass-ly superb by Clive Owen started out taking out bad guys with lead while helping a lady in child labor. He can stab people in the eye with his favorite snack. You can't even think of ambushing this motherfucker while he's busy banging a hooker. And this guys can literally walk out alive out of a building taken over by a battalion of SAS/SWAT team-looking enemies armed with M-16s. If you think that's over-the-top, the final showdown and the bank robbery scene before credits will either make your jaw drop several times over. Not likely contender for "Movies of 2007" list as opposed to Grindhouse, but still a must watch.



It's a bafflement why this double-feature bombed in box office, but this title is definitely on most lists of Movies of 2007. Tarantino's Death Proof has probably the most infectiously brilliant script ever written since Pulp Fiction (even though the protagonists yap through the material that has NOTHING to do with the movie most of the time). Kurt Russell's debut as a villian is delightfully charming, but twisted and even pitiful at times and the car chase in later half is dangerously thrilling . Rodriguez' Planet Terror is an orange from Tarantino's Apple altogether and sometimes it's like The Simpsons movie, except replace jokes with barrage of gross-outs from testicles, graphic footages of genatalia screwed up by STDs of worst nightmares, some fucked up acne problems (and watching Fergie getting her brains eaten is much more fun than Paris Hilton dying) to name some few. Rose McGowen is one hot leading babe, from her a-go-go limping machine-gun leg to her really hot lovemaking scene with Wray (spoiled intentionally by an abrupt missing reel). If those double features are more than enough, the four "faux" trailers are more than just complementary extras, from Rodriguez' awesomely badass "Machete", a "Werewolf Women of SS" spiced up by the best few seconds ever cameo by Nicholas Cage (FU MANCHU!) to dementedly sick Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving". These short features can own many pathetic attempts at B-movie violence and gore in mere one minute and plus.

Movies STILL need to be catched; Lust, Caution; No Country for Old Men, Elizabeth the Golden Age, Sweetney Todd.